There are a number of ways, since there are a number of different kinds of masochism. Some may be more accessible to you than others. You can always mix and match, of course! Keep in mind I’m a straight man, so my experiences as described will all be with women who I was taking the dominant role with (usually online).

The horny sort of girl I’ve seen is mostly going to be looking for that thrill. Many of the women I’ve met that fall into this category are feminists, likely because the idea of submitting to a man is so upsetting or offensive in their minds that it creates a massive rush. It’s just so taboo! Any form of excitement your mind associates with sex could easily become fetishized. It’s just about letting go of your ego, no longer protecting yourself, and just letting someone completely violate you in all the ways your mind says you should never allow them to.

Another form of submissiveness is more emotional in nature, and has a lot to do with service and sacrifice. I see this more among women who come from conservative backgrounds even if they aren’t conservative themselves. I also see it from women with a lot of emotional empathy, and especially ones with BPD. I think in these, a lot of it is about imagining how great it would be to be cared for, served, waited in etc, and just going “I’m going to be that. I’m going to give that to him. He’s going to be so happy, I’m going to make sure of it, even if I have to sacrifice.”

The final kind is the self-haters. These can learn to become the other two, and usually eventually do, but their hatred of themselves gives them a sort of “supplementary submissiveness,” where even if they don’t want to submit in a particular way, they do anyways because they don’t respect their own boundaries. Obviously not the healthiest thing, and something I’ve had to ethically measure as a sadist. But that’s an entirely different conversation.

Hope that helped! I’m not submissive myself, so this mostly comes from my experiences with these women and the things they’ve told me.