he/him - chrono adult - fat trans man - npd, bpd, autism, c-ptsd
bi map, aoa 2~16 - artist
post radqueer, youthlib, xenoanarchist
taken, in a map4aam relationship - no flirting
512
hi idk if you'll see this but it's me gavin, i saw the post about you and i'd like 2 say that i'm sorry you and your partner are getting harased, you're a really cool person B(
hey gavin!! great to see you again, was wondering where you went. super happy you're still around rq spaces!!! and thanks a bunch for the kind words, its def been more than stressful than i expected. always kinda figured id get into drama for it eventually but i didnt think itd be to this degree. but im just happy to have my tumblr + pedi moots to still support me during this, so it means a lot thanks again ❤️
/waves/ HI I hope this is okay to ask. How do you keep motivation for commissions? I desperately need to get myself to try and open comms for a source of income but my biggest worry is that I won't be able to make art good enough when it's for others and not myself, like,, I worry I won't be able to replicate what they want very well, idk if that makes sense.
SORRY if that's kind of a vent, feel like you're a good person to ask as another worry is that somehow opening comms will get me in trouble or smth considering the place I'll have them open (cutiepaws/pedi) and that I'm willing to draw things usually considered heinous.
Overall, you are so confident in being safe ?? And I have no idea how you do that with how open you are, I want to be able to be as open aswell and not fear it coming back to bite me in the ass.
I didn't know how to word any of that so sorry if I sound weird 🦔🦔🦔
hey!! don't worry about it, its a very good question! and its not that venty, even then i understand since figuring these things out on your own is hard. nothing wrong with asking from advice for me, i love giving advice on things i have experience with!!
i still struggle with keeping up motivation with comms myself sometimes (its why i close them now and then), but there's a few things that help me a lot, namely:
- drawing personal art in between, very important- you dont have to only draw comms just cause you have some to do. it prevents burnout a lot for me
having a section in my tos specifying i might take long. i have it at a maximum of four weeks (just so i dont i procrastinate too much), but you can also leave it open and not have a deadline. it helps commissioners know how long a wait to expect and if they still get upset, dont hesitate to tell them to not rush you and that they agreed to the wait when they commissioned you. but i havent had anyone get mad at me for taking a bit so far, pedi users tend to be very understanding of it from my experience.
most importantly though i try to remember that some comms i finish are just gonna suck. just like personal art sometimes does. ive had one commission for example i personally disliked a lot but the commissioner still said they loved it and uses it despite it. you are your own worst critic sometimes, especially with commissions. these are people who like your art so much they're willing to spend money it commissioning you, they're unlikely to notice mistakes as much as you do. as long as you try your best that's all that matters. and sometimes, your best might be pretty bad. it's part of being an artist, even with commissions. you do not owe people your most high quality work, simply the best you can do at that time.
for the opsec thing, admittedly my pedi doesn't show the whole picture. i dont vent post pretty much at all (npd hyper monitoring my image moment), so any freak outs i have are usually in private. but i do get anxious about doxxing at times, even to the point of panic attacks. but one thing that helps me a lot is just that there's not much of me out there online. i dont have anything under my irl name online, so.... what would antis even doxx me on. they can get my location through hacking or something, sure, and there's a chance that might result in harassment or violence at worst, but. sometimes it also doesn't. a lot of maps have been doxxed before and they're still living despite it. it's not easy at all and a horrible thing to go through, but it's not a death sentence. you can get doxxed and keep living.
and also i go out irl with a map flag pin as is so. i risk being targeted pretty actively lmao. but from the two years ive done that for literally nothing happened. no one asked or said anything mean ever. people usually dont care, at least where i live. so partially i just learned confidence in being open about my mapness through that.
also also def helps i barely have an anti presence anywhere. none for my art. i made the active decision when i started posting art on tumblr and pedi that id be a para artist only, even made pro con lists about it and all, and im personally way happier from it.
its not for everyone though... you do lose out on a lot of publicity and commissioners and yeah, there's a chance itll be found by antis. that's always a risk when you crosspost in para and anti spaces. but if you dont depend on art for a living and wanna be true to yourself i think it's more than worth it. that's a personal decision you have to make for yourself though.
you can also crosspost, but if your art style is very recognisable there is a chance people might find it and cancel you. so i dont do it cause it worsens my paranoia personally. also why i dont have much experience with it ^^"
very rambly but i do have a lot to say on this from my own experiences lol. hope you don't mind the long response! feel free to always ask more about or other topics, i hope this helped you a bit anon, i wish you the best!!
Hii i was ur 👾anon on one of your terminated tumblr accounts. I found out about pedi through ur tumblr, Tysmm for posting about pedi im forever greatful😭
oh hey i didnt even realise!! im happy i helped you find pedi and especially that its been nice for you there! i know it can be a mixed bag sometimes with all the hell threads for one <\3 but its far more relaxing imo than tumblr with its abundance of antis sharing the site. hopfeully you continue having a good time on pedi, i wish you all the best and that you find some more likeminded people there!! ^^
guess what??? chicken butt!!! ahahahah . gets shot
oh my godd my partner makes those jokes all the time and for a second i was confused cause i forgot pup didnt invent them lmaooooo. /pos thank you for the chicken butt joke anon 10/10
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